Tuesday, October 27, 2009

It's Me

"Hey, it's me."

"Hi darling, it's me."

"Bonjour mon amour, c'est moi." (Translation for you non-Francophiles: Hello my love, it's me.)

We all have those people in our lives who can get away with simply saying, "...it's me," and we instantly know who it is. Or, transversely, we can say it to them and they will know who we are.

Being able to get away with an "it's me" is a bit of a personal privilege that is reserved for the closest of the close in one's life, and that is how it should be. I remember when Dan first started to say "it's me" to me on the phone and I loved it. It was like we had reached a point where formalities were a thing of the past and closeness had begun. It was sweet and loving and comfortable all at the same time.

And yes...I know he has an English accent which would have given him away every time, but I think you can smell what I'm cookin'.

Or, when parents say "it's me" it is from a place of familiarity and solidarity that we accept this. They are voices that we have heard since the beginning of our time and if anyone deserves to say it, it is them.

Then there are the friends - the family that we choose. They can pull out the "it's me" card as freely and openly as they can make fun of you for that time that they drew on your face while you were sleeping and laugh with you while reminiscing of past mischievous frolics. An "it's me" from a friend is a way of acknowledging the bond and validating the closeness.

I had always known without really thinking about it the unspoken rules of using an "it's me" on someone. It is something that happens naturally and without question...for most people. However, it was brought to my attention that perhaps not all people are privy to this particular social nuance.

The other day at work I had someone, who I know only through work, call me and say simply, "Hey, it's me." This left me on the other end of the phone with absolutely no clue. I stood there racking my brain trying to figure out who had just inappropriately slung an "it's me" my way. I felt betrayed and frustrated. Trying to act as professional as I could I simply said, "I'm sorry...who is this?" The person then casually revealed who they were and I was shocked.

I am SO not on an "it's me" basis with this person. Not by a long shot - and for some reason it kinda bothered me. And by "kinda bothered" I mean, I really didn't like it.

A) It put me in a weird position

B) It felt forced and like this person was expecting something from me

C) It seemed out of place at work and just not professional

Perhaps I am just a total weirdo with no real ground to stand on here, but it just rubbed me the wrong way. The "it's me's" in my life that I respond to are people that I have cultivated relationships with and care about deeply. People who have been there through the good, the bad and the really bad. People who know my favorite movie and color and I, theirs. It's those people who get to throw out the "it's me" - not random people I hardly know.

Am I a total freak for feeling this way? Should I just pull the stick out and get on with my life?

Actually, I will answer the latter and the answer is yes, but it just felt like a 'Social Norm: Interrupted' and I did not like it.

What about you, my lovely reader? Are there any social norms that you are sticklers for? Perhaps you hate people calling you "Hun" or you can't stand loud people in restaurants. Maybe you are repelled by weak handshakes or insincere smiles. Whatever it is, I would love to know.

Partly to learn a little more about you.

Also to feel better about my "it's me" neurosis. I'm just being honest here.

What really puts you off in seconds? Oh do tell...

15 comments:

  1. UGH!!! I hate when people try the "it's me" when I have no idea who they are! I think it is arrogant and rude!! Especially at work. I mean we all have cell phones now, so the "it's me" is less annoying when on a cell phone, since you pretty much always know who is calling before you pick up... but at work??? It has happened to me, as well, and I had the same reaction; you are not alone :)

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  2. Hi, Sweetie!

    It's me. You've heard my voice since the beginning of your time... I love that you said that and I smell what you're cookin'.

    Put me down for loud people in restaurants, or anywhere outside of a sporting event. Put me down for what I call "Performance Parenting." Put me down for headphones when I'm trying to talk to you.

    Put me down from "Yo' Mama" jokes told by my children when I am right there... That bugs!

    Love You!

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  3. I cant stand limp handshakes! I hate the" hey whats up " junk too, drives me nuts, or someone calls you and then says "who is this", you totally called me ya freak! OK I could go on for days...I am a people person so I am just now learning how to deal with people who arent!

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  4. UPDATE AHHHHH! IT TOTALLY JUST HAPPENED TO ME!!!!!! the "hey" and then instantaneous babble from an unknown source, I totally had to go along with it and pick up the pieces....SHEEEESH. Im still confused...why....ugh...sigh...huff...blah.....

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  5. I can't stand when people hit me on the shoulder. I don't like it when people laugh just to feel the air (even though I'm sure I'm guilty of this) and I don't like when people call me cute or cutie.

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  6. I have an "it's me'er" in my life too! She drives me up the wall.

    I can't think of any other irritations when I'm on the spot like this.... I might need to think about it.

    Oh, and I LOVE YOUR BLOG TOO you sweet little thing you!! Just sharing the love... cause that's what I do.

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  7. I agree about the "It's me" thing. I dislike it when people have call waiting, and while in the middle of a call with me they get a second call, put me on hold for several minutes, then get back on the line with me only to tell me, "I've got to go take this other call. Bye." GRRRRRR!!!

    Another thing I detest is someone answering text messages while in a conversation with me. Drives me nuts. It's like they just wander away or like I'm not very important/worth staying in an engaged conversation.

    And, finally, unless you are my mother, grandmother, or my husband, don't call me hun. Period. Hate it.

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  8. i don't like it when people come into my office and throw banana peels away in my trash can. by 2pm my entire office smells like rotten banana butt.

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  9. The list of things that I'm not a fan of is long and complex and includes some of the ones you've listed. "It's me" should be as you described it reserved for those in one's intimate circle! I hate being called babe or baby and will call anyone out on it who tries it. I hate a weak hand shake (or worse when it's all dainty and just the finger tips - what's up with that?). I hate lame hugs.

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  10. Interesting blog. And since I just dropped in from Jana's blog I can only say I HATE anonymous blog posts. And telemarketer recorded sales calls that make me start talking to them before realizing it is a machine.

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  11. It bugs me when people don't look you in the eye when talking to you...Great question...I get the "it's me" alot and I just say "me who" back to them....haha...Have a great evening!

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  12. Anyone that is read to a service worker. That sounds SO much about someone!

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  13. Oh my - these are some good ones and I agree with pretty much all of them.

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  14. I can't stand it when people shoot their mouth off without knowing what they are talking about, or when people borrow my things and return them broken, or don’t return.

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  15. I can't stand being called "missy." It is an appropriate nickname if your name is Melissa and you approve of being called that. But all I can think of is being at the Uniform store and having to buy my shorts in the "missy" section abd feeling so humiliated. (thankfully I have 'grown' or perhaps shrunk out of that section) I HATE it!!

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